September 2012 | Mecannylad

Bloody clever these researchers are !

According to recent research, 95% of female shoppers turn right as soon as they enter a department store. What a load of bull I thought ....... until I reluctantly accompanied Mecannylass on one of her expeditions to Meadowhall Shopping Centre.

Well I'll be buggered ....... the researchers are spot on !!!!

Oops ! This Paralympic poser has been eating away at Mecannylad for weeks now.

Why the bloody hell didn’t the Games Organisers lower the basketball hoops to give the wheelchair basketball players a better chance ?

Happiness.

It’s a small admission but a significant one. To Mecannylad’s great surprise, though I am clearly closer to the grave than the cradle, I’ve become what I’d dare to describe as being happier than ever. A feeling all the more solid for its unspectacularness.

I suppose no longer craving the spectacular yet living amongst it here in the heart of the Peak District is probably part of this subtle conundrum. Caring a lot less about what you look like, how you’re supposed to behave, whether or not you are cool, is a gift that makes getting older much more pleasurable than I ever dared hope.

Raise your glasses ..... to old age.

Chesterfield: The spiritual home of Lycra.

Mecannylad has just got back from a morning jaunt to Chesterfield in downtown Derbyshire. Funny how the Olympic Spirit seems to be still very much in full swing in this godforsaken hole.

Lots of strange people wandering around .... struggling to speak English .... mainly wearing gaudy lycra tracksuits.

Mind it’s been like that ever since I can remember.

MECANNYLAD : THE EARLY YEARS

And so it passed, Mecannylad was born amongst the bullrushes on the banks of the River Tyne in the Geordie citadel of Byker.

And it begat they first thought I might have musical tendancies as all my mother did during her pregnanacy was listen to Sing Something Simple on the wireless.They were wrong.

Times were tough but even if I have to say it myself I was a pretty bright kid at school. I remember passing my eleven-plus when I was ten, passing my GCE's at fifteen ..... and passing water in my sleep when I was sixteen.

This personal plumbing problem coupled with south facing bedroom windows and hot chimney breasts meant there always seemed to be a rainbow around my shoulder.

When I was nineteen I went to Oxford ..... to see my beloved Newcastle United lose to Oxford United. My education was completed in the toilet on the Flying Scotsman back home to Newcastle by an ambidextrous woman I`d met in the buffet bar.

Fast forward forty six years ......

MECANNYLAD NOW

Everyone knows everybody elses`s business here in the glorious Peak District village of Eyam. Infact, each and every villager seems to have the right to know everyone else`s bloody business ..... and woe betide anyone who thinks otherwise.

Mecannylad can go into the pub on a Friday night wearing a new pair of socks.
By Saturday morning all the locals out on the High Street will know not just what colour they are, but what size they are too ... and how much they cost !

Everybody and everything is fair game. There are no bloody secrets around here. None whatsoever !

SO WHAT EXACTLY IS A CANNY LAD THEN ?

In and around the North East of England it is vaguely complimentary to be considered `canny`.

A `cannylad` or a `cannylass` would have something good about them. They might be pleasant, kind, fun, caring, loving, careful ... good looking even!
Nobody is quite sure what nevertheless!!

A `Geordie` is a native of Newcastle upon Tyne .... and of course a `Townie` strangely enjoys the feeling of concrete under their feet rather than grass.

Not a lot of people know that the majestic Peak District, where Mecannylad is now undertaking his voluntary missionary work, is the second most visited National Park in the world - yes, the world - with an estimated twenty two million visitors every year.